The Art And Secretions Of Stu Smith. Human Being. Artist.

An Atheist Meets The Invisible Pink Unicorn

2008-12-29T20:29:00.002Z

He he, I spotted this on youtube and thought I'd share it with my reader.

Taylor Tiktaalik (Your Inner Fish)

2008-12-18T10:36:00.004Z

You know, dear reader (or shall I just simply call you by name oh mysterious Taylor?),

I feel like I've been neglecting you recently, and, although I'm still too busy to shave my own arse these days (is the Pink Baboon look still trendy with the kids?) I've still been able to post videos I've happened upon on my Facefuck page.

So now, I figure, if I can be bothered to do that, I should be bothered to at least add a vid to my very own blog. So here goes..

-----------------------------

Found via richarddawkins.net, a nice song that I intend to sing to the Jehova's Witnesses next time they come knocking at my door.

XX

News! (As if you care)

2008-09-21T19:30:00.004+01:00

Well dearest avid blog reader,

I have a little bit of news, I thought I'd tell you, whoever you are.

EDIT:

I started writing this..

"Firstly, to business, finally, I've opened an online shop at Redbubble.com where I've made available some of my designs as T-Shirts! I'm really excited about it ---"

Ah look at how child-like and innocent I was, sigh. Well, since I signed up with Redbubble I sold quite a few shirts and was beginning to think that fat-cattery was pending, my pen was hovvering over the purchase order for the new Lamborghini and a fresh tea bag, but alas, all was to crumble around me again like biscuity dominoes.

Put simply, I bought two shirts, it took 26 days to arrive, they were shit, I quit my account. To any of the good people out there who did buy any of my designs in good faith (and you're reading this) then send me a picture of the shirt you bought and I'll do something to compensate you as I feel really let down by it all.

Anyway, on to the rest of the blog, normal service is resumed.

/END OF EDIT

Secondly, is news, but it's news I can't tell you about, but I can tell you that last week I accepted two really exciting gigs in the film industry. I've signed Non-Disclosure Contracts on them both so although I'm bursting to announce to the world what I'm up to, I can't. I can assure you that I'm typically up to no good and that, in my book at least, is a good thing. So, remember I told you that I was up to something and later on, if you can be bothered to check in on your old pal's blog, I'll tell you what it is when I'm legally able to.

Um.. that's about it for now, can't think I've got anything else to tell you except maybe my ankle hurts from playing football and being a fat bastard (and that's a vegan fat bastard by the way). I'll let you know how that clears up if you don't hear it before on News At Ten or CNN or something.

Kisses, you beautiful fruitcake, you.

XX

Stu

New Pilot Show Based On "The F Word".

2008-07-30T14:21:00.005+01:00

Yeah, Hi,

So last night I watched Gordon Ramsay's "The F Word" (on the UK's Channel 4) which, if you didn't know or have never seen it before involves opposing groups of people or celebrities who are trained to cook a meal for a group of selected diners who are invited to eat the food and then vote on which group did the best job. Not really my sort of program, but I can see why that would be a popular format.

Last night's episode was very interesting to me as the selected group of diners were all "vegetarians" (notice the quotes). The idea was not to do a vegetarian or even a vegan menu but it had the purpose of feeding animal flesh to these so-called veggies to show them what they have been missing all this time. As I predicted at the start, the result was a resounding success for the lumpy-faced bell end and his gittish celebrity arse clowns. And oh how those vegetarian folk saw the error of their ways and voted resoundingly for the wonderful dishes so lovingly prepared for them. It was a win, win,win, win for everyone concerned! Hoorah!

One "Vegetarian" upon eating veal and being asked if he enjoyed it replied "Would it be wrong of me to say it was lovely?" Ho ho. You twat. You complete scab.

Just so you understand my position on this, I got to thinking about shooting a pilot show of my own based on the same format.

No, hear me out on this....

We start with a really passionate presenter - I'm thinking of someone with real television presence and showmanship, someone like Gary Glitter or maybe Johnathon King - and we get a couple of groups of people, one group say ordinary people (politicians, priests etc.) and the other lot a load of grinning celebrities, but nobody cabable of critical thinking who'd spoil it all. We take them to our purpose built studio done out like a giant extravagant knocking shop and invite them on a very special 'fucking-buffet' to sample the many and varied delights of the flesh.

Here's the Menu:

Appetizer: Stillborn Baby gently warmed and basted in KY jelly.
Starter: Thai sex slave - an oral delight!
Main: Ladyboy Sandwich with sluttish dressing.
Dessert: Two-Toddler Topless hand relief.

There'd be interviews:

"When was the last time you had a kiddie fiddle, sir?"

"Oh it was years ago, when I was a kiddie, but now I really do see what I've been missing all these years. I'm such a stupid moron to have denied myself all this time. I really blew both barrels when I got that sloppy yawn from that 10 year old. Thank you for making me feel normal and accepted by the masses again ~ Excellent work!".

Everyone would vote in favour of the evening's excellent success and they'd all smile and laugh in front of the camera while some continued to fuck on into the credits to the tune of Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy".

Hey, whadda ya think eh kids? Are we missing a point here somewhere?

Stu Smith.

P.S. Gordon Ramsay, you're a fucking scatmuncher.

Vantage Point Artwork - V2

2008-04-02T21:37:00.004+01:00

Dear you,

Just a quickie today, dearest reader. Remember that album cover I did a few blogs back? The red firey one with skulls and hellish visions for Vantage Point the Metal band from Edinborough? No? Oh well, anyway, it got rejected, that's fine, part of the job I suppose, so we tried a new tack instead and after ages of tweaking, faffing and fiddling it's finally finished. Here, go on, have a gander..

You like? You like? Do tell.

Stuey

Let's Play: "Who's The Fucking Idiot?" !

2008-03-19T14:59:00.006Z

Dearest, fondest reader,

Yesterday I was driving my car and I decided to actually interact with the world for the first time in ages by switching on the radio. Radio2 seemed to be the one with the least amount of shitty recycled crap music and some actual 'talk' on it that wasn't related to the latest sports doldrums. The debate at the time I switched it on was related to, and I am starting to laugh here because surely it couldn't be true? The debate was around the issue of rating movies with smoking in it as 18 certificate. No, honest, everyone had a straight tone to their voice and no one let on that this was a joke. In fact, brilliantly, it seemed that the majority of callers were actually saying this was a good thing, and even going further to say that smoking should be banned entirely! Ha ha, you guys. We Brits still have a refined sense of humour don't we? Quality stuff..ho ho.

What's that you say? Surely not? It's NOT a fucking JOKE!?!? Have we all gone sphincter-sniffing mental?

Now, bear in mind when I tell you this, that I have never ever smoked anything in my life. Don't want to, probably never will. Despite this, if you want to smoke that's just peachy with me, however you'll have to do without my good company if you do. I'm certain you're gutted. But it's a simple system that works just fine without anyone interferring with it. I stood alone as a non-smoker who was against the government dictatorship of the UK dictating who pub owners should allow into their businesses. A fucking insult to freedoms that everyone I know seems quite happy about. But I digress...

I wanted to play a little game I've just invented called "Who's The Fucking Idiot?". I'll tell you an imaginary story then ask you some questions at the end and you have to decide "Who's The Fucking Idiot?". Cue music..

A young man decides that life is too much to bear and kills himself by swigging a litre of extra strength household bleach. Oooh, painful! His (understandably) distraught family learn that lemon juice or vinegar can be just as effective at cleaning around the kitchen and that they need not have had bleach lying around the house in the first place. If their son had swigged lemon juice or vinegar then the only mess they'd have to have cleaned up was about a gallon of puke rather than twelve stone of cadaver. So, to cope with their grief, they start a campaign to ban the sale of bleach (especially the extra strong stuff) and approach newspapers and media companies who'll tell their terrible story. The media dutifully oblige with a furrowed brow, sympathetic ear and morose tone and the message gets heard. An ambitious politician decides that here's a subject with an emotional vote-winning angle, and before you can say "band wagon" he's out there lobbying government to "do something about it". Years pass, but eventually the government (spit) pass a law that effectively bans all corrosive chemicals in domestic households or non-licensed businesses. The general public accept this ruling and clean their homes with vinegar and lemon juice and learn to shit down the pan without touching the sides.

Now, "Who's The Fucking Idiot(s)?", is it..

The young man that drank the bleach?
The family for calling for a ban on bleach?
The media for reporting it in all seriousness?
The politician for actually making it a governmental issue?
The government for, well, they're the government aren't they?

Or is it option 6, ALL OF THE ABOVE.

If I want to drink bleach that's my shitty party, alright? Not yours or theirs, or whoever's, it's MINE. If I'm stupid enough to smoke then that is my tough shit. Mind your own business.

It's really, really, really simple, and it just can't be hard to understand, so please, leave alone, we all ought to be responsible for ourselves.

Now some of you will have been saying all along "Yes, but when something I do to myself effects other people (such as passive smoking) then we have a problem don't we eh? Mr.Smith?" Well, yes, I agree, we do, but I shall save that issue for another blog.

Needless to say I switched the radio off as the anger I was feeling was getting ventless. Instead I just drove along biting into my steering wheel.

The Filthiest Word Of All

2008-03-12T23:07:00.005Z

Dearest Reader,

I'll tell you what, I'm sat here late with my music on full, large glass of V&O on my desk to the left, Mrs.Graviton out saving the universe, and I'm feeling quite good about myself for a change. I kind of promised myself that when I was next in a positive frame of mind I was going to tell you about something I feel really passionately about, but if you read previous posts you'll realise that Mrs.Graviton and family don't really like my flowery language when I get passionate about things, so I may have to try really hard to behave myself.

And all this centres around the one of the filthiest words in the human language. It begins with a "V".

No, it's not vagina, vulva, vadge or ..er..vinegar strokes, it even worse than that, I'm justy going to get this part over with right now. Vegetarian. Vegan. I'm a filthy-mouthed jizzflap I know, but now? Surely this is too much? My point is that Mr.Average Joe has already stopped reading now I've said that, and I blame the fucking hippy titwanks that have hijacked the terminology and attached all the baggage that usually goes along with it.

So, I formally disassociate myself with the tree-hugging, the paint-throwing, the vibrations, the animal-rights, the spirituality bollocks, the religiosity, the teary-eyed wimpyness of it all and get to the actual point.

The actual point of being a vegetarian or a vegan should be a moral one. There's certainly all kinds of other arguments as to why you shouldn't eat/torture/abuse animals and to why it's good to eat a non animal based diet, but the real issue is a moral one. See?

Putting it as succinctly as I can, if you are an omnivore, ask yourself this; If you enjoy your animal products and don't think there's a moral problem with violating other sentient creatures to satisfy your desire for them, on what moral grounds have you got to to tell a rapist not to rape, or a burglar not to steal, or a cannibal not to chew your ears off?

I say none, and so in the interests of consistency I try the very best I can not to contribute to the torture and slavery of our animal friends. It's actually speciesism, a word that I never hear and that's wrong in itself!

I suppose if you've read this far then I'll thank you, but the chances are you're already a filthy vegan or vegetarian too and so I've been preaching to the choir. If not then hey, nice one! I hope you're in the gang or are so angry that you'd like to debate me on this? Honestly, I'd love that to happen, go on, respond to me and let's have a mass debate! (pun intended). I do love a debate and can be quite civilised and respectful, but in this case I may have to use the V word!

I Tank (Thank) Yaw

2008-02-28T21:51:00.006Z

Dearest, fondliest Reader,

Hey, have a gander at this kids. See my Clowns Page? See "I Thank Yaw"? Oh you lazy sod, here..

Well my local chum Steve, is having his bike fender and tank airbrushed with my artwork on it! I'm dead chuffed, and the girl who's doing it is doing a fantastic job taking my work and adding her own slant to it. Dig the flaming hair and fire pattern on his romper suit.

Also dig the glitter spray and the glossy finish. Nice bins too!

**************************

Hey look at me, two blogs in one day, thing's are looking up!

**************************

Stubles

My Learned Friends - An Apology

2008-02-28T20:50:00.005Z

Dearest, beloved reader,

You haven't noticed that I haven't posted a blog for over a week. I know you haven't noticed, no one reads this shit anyway, and I can talk to you oh invisible pal, you're spesh, you're diff. So I haven't been blogging and there's good reason for this, believe it or not I've actually been busy! I know, I'm sure it'll wear off, but this last week was especially mental juggling four or five jobs at once. I'll save what I've done for other posts, but I'll get to why this blog is an apology straight away (because I can tell you're eager to know!).

So, apart from you, dearest reader, the only other people who have read this meandering offle have been the close friends and family who I've sent a link to to say, 'Hey, look at me I'm a blogger now!'. Unfortunately the response has been quite negative, even hostile! You see it's the swearing (of all things!) that my inner circle objects to. I do swear a lot in real life, but let's not get me wrong, I'm not the kind of lumbering oaf that shouts abuse at pigeons in the park, I've moved on, I've since forgiven the pigeons for their cheeky tomfoolery. No, these days I'm really quite the gentleman. No, honest I am.

But it's been said that I do come across as a bit (I think they were sugar-coating this critique somewhat) "opinionated and aggressive"? Also, other folk have said that this whole website of mine, www.gravitoncreations.com is supposed to be a showcase for me to generate business and expose my portfolio, therefore foul-mouthed diatribes don't go down too well with prospective buyers. Ok, point taken, and here is my apology to all those people who may have been offended by my choice of verbiage and to all those people who declined to make contact with me on this basis.

Sorry.

Really, I do mean it, sorry.*

But here's the thing kids - and I've thought about this long and good - I don't think that I'm in the business any more of selling 'just' my artwork, I am part of my artwork and I come with the package. The truth is, these are the things I think and they are written in the way I think them and say them to the people who know and love me. If you ever meet me and I happen to swear in your presence - be flattered! I'll have done so because I've assessed you and I now have trusted you to the point where I can be more myself in front of you.

Maybe my mistake is in trusting you (not you, dear reader, but 'you', the world) before taking the time to get to know you. Unfortunately I don't have long to get to know you all in general si I am going to trust you and be myself in front of you. So this blog is me, warts and all.

And so if you're a fan or a prospective buyer and you read this blog and something I say offends you to the point that you go away, well I'm sorry. Sorry for you, we could have been friends if you weren't so quick to dismiss me. But I genuinely do hope that from here on in this blog will filter out those folk that do not understand me and let in those that do because I prefer to work with friends rather than clients.

Lastly, it has to be mentioned, that the front page of my website contains a 'Parental Advisory' warning and it's also obvious that I'm a supporter of free speech, plus this blog has been classified (by me) as 'adult content', so there should be no excuse for someone being surprised or offended at this point should there? And, ahem, this is the internet in case you haven't noticed? Quite frankly if anyone has read this twaddle this far who could possibly be feeling at ease by now is a fucking jizz headed arse clown.

Forever your pal,

Stubles

* I don't really. Fingers crossed.

The Skulls Of Doctor Death (And Other News)

2008-02-18T11:12:00.003Z

Dearest Reader,

Monday morning. Today's blog is going to be short and sweet with little or no preachiness involved, so skip this to the juicy parts later on where I will almost certainly be spitting at my keyboard and putting the world to rights.

Got a busy week ahead, starting today with an album cover I'm working on for Vantage Point (that link doesn't seem to work though today?) It'll be the second version I'll be working on as the first version looks a little too 'death metal' for their tastes. Point taken actually, sorry about that!
It's the skulls isn't it? Must remember to stop doing skulls!

Anyway, there's that for this week and then tomorrow I'm off to meet Mike Lehan to do storyboards for his second documentary for the History Channel. His last documentary will be aired on the History Channel in August this year entitled "Crimes That Shook Britain: Shipman" and fuck me, I get a credit at the end as storyboard artist. Fame at last! Bafta's, Oscar's, Grammy's!

So you can be sure I'll let you know how that goes right here, dearest reader, in my very own and regularly updated blog.

Kisses,

Stu

Watertight Rules For Living With Others.

2008-02-16T13:36:00.012Z

Dearest Reader,

As you can tell, I get pissed off with a lot shit that happens in the world and I think that there are several reasons for why this is. Definitely one of them is my age, but the other is that I just get so desperately disappointed with the way humanity fails to live up to its potential.

At our best, we do amazing things that can bring a tear to your eye. We have a passion to explore and to understand and it drives us to fantastical heights. We can be supremely loving, kind and benevolent and when we are, our altruism pays off dividends and life seems to move that bit closer to being one of those ultimate peaceful civilisations that we only see on Star Trek.

But you don't need me to make you a list of examples that show how regularly shitty we can be to each other on a one-to-one basis and worse; as a collective group of thoroughly evil fucktards. Group any number of humans together and IQ's go down as the numbers increase. Call them, 'us' and instantly we have an enemy, 'them'. Give a group a name, The Reds, The Blues, The Brits, The Yanks, The East, The West, The Little People With Ginger Pubes, The Big One-Armed Cyclists With A Penchant For Grilled Cheese Toasties, etc. etc. We've heard them all before. Yes, as soon as we feel we're a part of a group we're eager to start taunting, arguing, punching, kicking, stabbing, shooting, stealing, raping, torturing, murdering, obliterating, warring, nuking the fuck out of each other at the drop of a hat. It's wrong. Stop it.

I'm almost sure that if we ask most people if the aim of humanity is to live in peace and advance beyond imagination, maybe explore the stars and galaxies while we're at it, then they would agree that this is a good goal to set ourselves. Now, ask yourself, dear reader, what do you do as a human being to advance our species? I think that speaking truth is a good start. And the 'Truths' that I speak of are open to debate and change according to the scientific method and logical reasoning. I'm not going to preach the ways and Truths of BimBam The Space Clown (see previous blogs) and then stick my fingers in my ears and go "la la la, not fucking listening" when anyone 'dares' to critique me -that would make me a fuckwit wouldn't it?

So, for your delight and delectation, here's what I think I've found so far, and it seems to be pretty watertight.

You are an individual, responsible for yourself, responsible for your own actions.
Other people, animals and things also exist like you do, they had no choice in their existence and should be respected, .
As best you can, DO NO HARM. To anyone or anything.
If you find yourself being offended against at the hands, fangs or paws of another, it's ok to defend yourself with reasonable force.
Brush your teeth regularly with a non-fluoride toothpaste if you can find one (I use Euthymol).
Don't waft your farts. It's really rude.

So that's it folks. Try it for a while and see how you get on. Let me know.

My Baby Photo

2008-02-14T11:03:00.004Z

Dearest Reader,

Today I found an old baby photo from my childhood and thought that, to compliment my previous posts, I ought to show it so that the faithful know who they're dealing with.

Kisses xxx

Stuey

'Proof' Of BimBam The Space Clown?

2008-02-13T14:31:00.004Z

Dearest Reader,

Well I'm sorry to thrash this out, but just as an addition to yesterday's rant about Doreen's Watchtower magazine, I did begin reading it (a promise is a promise) and now I believe in God! Nah, do I fuck, I'm just messing with you there. Sorry about that. No, I just wanted to make comments on the first few pages which is as far as I can stomach.

"Does God Really Care About Us?" is the question on the cover and already I object to the presupposition that there is a God in the first place that would care or not care about us. It then goes on to state "If so, why does he permit suffering? Will it ever end?" again, it's a cop out to assume that there is a God allowing or creating, caring or uncaring about the natural shittyness that is inherent in life. If we can PLEASE get over this issue first then, yeah, let's discuss what the great bearded one is fucking about at with all these wars and shite!

As if to answer my query, page four asks "How Can We Know There Is A God?" smear me in spit and lick me dry! It's as if I wrote that question isn't it? (I didn't in case you thought I was serious). Ready for this? Yes, it's the old, tired, argument from design again. It goes like this...

"See that watch? Fucking complicated isn't it? It can't have just assembled itself can it? It must have had a creator? Man! (sorry women watchmakers out there) See the Universe? Now that is fucking amazing isn't it? (Yes, we all agree there) Aha! Well someone really, really, really, fucking clever must have created it! (if the bit about the watch is true) So there! We got you! You have to believe in God now you twat!"

Er, well kids, where shall we start? Let's get the obvious one out of the way first. Let's say that we assume that nothing complicated can just be created by accident or chance, or that nothing that is can simply be unless someone or something consciously created it with intent. Read that last sentence again, we'll be coming back to it - maybe there'll be a test? Let's play along for a while then and ask the obvious next question which is; If this is so, who or what created God? What's that? That 'logic' that you used is not good logic any more? God is the originator? Nothing came before him? He is the prime mover? You sound like you're full of shit to me. Here's the rules, now the rules don't suit me, I shall now change the rules? Please, religious people, fuck off with this argument now, it's getting old, move on, try again with something better eh?

Back to the issue of everything that is complicated has to have been created. Well, let's not cloud the issue here with unnecessary verbiage, everything is complicated when you look closely enough, so let's just say 'everything' in the first place and not be unfair to the bland objects out there like rocks and religious people.

Speaking of rocks, what 'created' a rock when we see, for example, a volcano spew it's lava into the sea? The Volcano created that rock, that plateau, that landmass, those islands. Is it intelligent? Did it create them with intent? Should I be worshipping Volcano Gods? Maybe I should be slitting a virgin's neck to the Great And Holy Puddle Gods? What? It doesn't work like that?

Aah, ok, I see, the Volcano is just a tool! God creates the tool, and the tool creates the stuff. There's a chain, ok, I see. So, just like man creates some cogs and a tiny little spanner, he can make a watch. The cogs and spanner are just tools like the Volcano? Ah, well in that case then forget all that scathing stuff I wrote above, I'm obviously a fuckwitted spatula for not getting that part! But wait, no, hang on a sec, see this finger? It's pointing to a man, a little old fella with half-round glasses on and he's actually holding the cogs and spanner and, yes, wait a second, I'm pretty certain he's a fucking watchmaker? Let me do a test first before I call you a cunt? Yes, he is definitely there, definitely able to make watches. Where's your God with his foot on the Volcono pump? There's not one. You're a cunt. Yes, very fucking droll and stupid, but you lot fucking started it.

Lastly, and I'm sorry to be finicky again, but it is a pretty important issue to be clear on if I'm expected to spend the rest of my life worshipping this creator of yours, but exactly which God actually did all this creating? Just to be sure, how do you know it wasn't Zeus or Appolo again? How would you test that that it wasn't BimBam The Space Clown? I've heard he's done this sort of thing before? Shall I throw in a honourary mention to the Flying Spaghetti Monster too?

So, so far, poor start. You obviously see the importance of 'proving' your God and as I've just explained, you've not actually done it with any satisfaction yet. I know this doesn't actually matter to you people because you have a magical off switch for your brains that you can just flick when the going gets tough in the rationality stakes. I actually fear that when I continue to read this Watchtower magazine beyond these first few pages you will have felt that you've done enough 'proving' and go on (like they all do) to blah-de-blahing about the Bible and all the crap in that and still hold onto this God existing assumption that I won't swallow until you do actually do a proper job.

I think you lot come across more honestly when you just come out and state that proving God is pointless and you shouldn't be fucking doing it anyway because it's all about switching off that side of your brain that might question the fucking ridiculous and just start believing it because lot's of people do and 'lots of people' is more than just 'you' so just shut the fuck up and tow the line. I really think you'll get lots of followers like that?

Hmm, I must tell BimBam this next time we slay a virgin together.

My First Atheistic Rant And Doreen's Watchtower

2008-02-12T13:29:00.000Z

Dearest, fondest reader,

What better time for my second ever blog to announce to you my atheistic tenancies on the very day the lovely Doreen (a Jehovah's Witness) showed up at my door with a new edition of "The Watchtower" clutched in her gnarly old mitts.

I, out of politeness, allowed Doreen to go into her introductory little skit about how shitty the world is with the poor, the starving, wars and the pending Armageddon looming, and I even allowed her to raise the mood a little with the oh-so-lovely tales of heaven and the wonderful gardens of Eden (blah fucking blah, right?). Eventually, I had to stop her as I could see that we (as usual) were going no where with the conversation. So I explained to her that I am very excited about the prospect of believing in God, Jesus, fairies, unicorns, Thor, and even 'The Force' but first, one of the faithful must hoik me over this massive primary issue of simply believing for belief's sake! It's something these people don't do in hardly any other aspect of their bewildered lives? I mean, why not believe you can fly and jump off a cliff? Believe you are bullet proof and do a tour of Iraq? Even better, believe you are inflammable, drink a gallon of lighter fuel, jump off a cliff in Iraq while smoking a Benson & Hedges (those thing's really will kill you). No, they don't do that, because 'faith' doesn't work like that does it? If there's even the slightest chance that one could prove the sillyness of such a belief then the mystery -- the point would be removed wouldn't it? But take this notion God. Hey, now there is actually no fucking way you could physically 'prove' this guy's existence (short of him actually announcing him/her/itself and until he/her/it does that makes you bullet proof to the projectiles of reason doesn't it?

I absolutely will not go down the route of La-La-Land with any fucking religious believer until we first address this assumption that there even is a God in the first place, and I advise you too to do the same if you want to stand any chance of not wasting a whole day on your doorstep (or even worse - a whole lifetime). Once we establish that this is 'first base' we can happily wag our fingers at all the rest of the shit they talk about and go back to the original point of it all. Faith or Reason.

Ok, if you want to choose faith over reason, go ahead, fill your boots. Personally I think you're a Mormon, sorry, moron. That is your choice and as we'll discuss some other time no doubt, I do at least respect your life choices (*conditions do apply). Indeed, I absolutely invite you to prove to me the existence of your God (or whatever) because I would love to actually get off first base and wonder down the glorious roads of La-La-Land and pop off a few infidels before I do so.

So far, the only sincere attempts of proving truth, are made by scientific, rational, logical human beings who I incidentally believe in absolutely because I can see a few walking past my window, I've touched a few in my time, and sometimes these people do great and heinous things.

Doreen and I have now gone our separate ways, although after handing me her Watchtower magazine she did do a Terminator and say "I'll be back" which was quite unnerving. But I honestly thought I may have done some good after she remarked that I had actually made her think. I was truly flattered. However, she told me that her purpose for thought would be thinking about how she could 'reach me' and make me 'have faith', and this after all I had said.

There's no hope for some people.

My Blog Birth And The Hoards Of Dirty Apes.

2008-02-11T21:56:00.000Z

Hello Follicles,

Today is the birth of my entry into the world of blogging. I feel like a little virgin walking amongst a hoard of randy apes, but with a bit of luck, and with you holding my hand, we'll make this a pleasurable experience and try to cut down on the screaming and bleeding orifices.

I suppose that I ought to make this blog exclusively about my artwork but I'm an opinionated son of a biscuit so I'll probably also be throwing in my views on the world and all it's foibles. This will
expose me as a very odd person I'm sure, but stay with me kids, I'll do my best and always remeber I'm actually a nice person. Honest I am.

So, here goes. Let's see how often I 'blog' shall we?

Stu