New Pilot Show Based On "The F Word".
Yeah, Hi,
So last night I watched Gordon Ramsay's "The F Word" (on the UK's Channel 4) which, if you didn't know or have never seen it before involves opposing groups of people or celebrities who are trained to cook a meal for a group of selected diners who are invited to eat the food and then vote on which group did the best job. Not really my sort of program, but I can see why that would be a popular format.
Last night's episode was very interesting to me as the selected group of diners were all "vegetarians" (notice the quotes). The idea was not to do a vegetarian or even a vegan menu but it had the purpose of feeding animal flesh to these so-called veggies to show them what they have been missing all this time. As I predicted at the start, the result was a resounding success for the lumpy-faced bell end and his gittish celebrity arse clowns. And oh how those vegetarian folk saw the error of their ways and voted resoundingly for the wonderful dishes so lovingly prepared for them. It was a win, win,win, win for everyone concerned! Hoorah!
One "Vegetarian" upon eating veal and being asked if he enjoyed it replied "Would it be wrong of me to say it was lovely?" Ho ho. You twat. You complete scab.
Just so you understand my position on this, I got to thinking about shooting a pilot show of my own based on the same format.
No, hear me out on this....
We start with a really passionate presenter - I'm thinking of someone with real television presence and showmanship, someone like Gary Glitter or maybe Johnathon King - and we get a couple of groups of people, one group say ordinary people (politicians, priests etc.) and the other lot a load of grinning celebrities, but nobody cabable of critical thinking who'd spoil it all. We take them to our purpose built studio done out like a giant extravagant knocking shop and invite them on a very special 'fucking-buffet' to sample the many and varied delights of the flesh.
Here's the Menu:
"When was the last time you had a kiddie fiddle, sir?"
"Oh it was years ago, when I was a kiddie, but now I really do see what I've been missing all these years. I'm such a stupid moron to have denied myself all this time. I really blew both barrels when I got that sloppy yawn from that 10 year old. Thank you for making me feel normal and accepted by the masses again ~ Excellent work!".
Everyone would vote in favour of the evening's excellent success and they'd all smile and laugh in front of the camera while some continued to fuck on into the credits to the tune of Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy".
Hey, whadda ya think eh kids? Are we missing a point here somewhere?
Stu Smith.
P.S. Gordon Ramsay, you're a fucking scatmuncher.
So last night I watched Gordon Ramsay's "The F Word" (on the UK's Channel 4) which, if you didn't know or have never seen it before involves opposing groups of people or celebrities who are trained to cook a meal for a group of selected diners who are invited to eat the food and then vote on which group did the best job. Not really my sort of program, but I can see why that would be a popular format.
Last night's episode was very interesting to me as the selected group of diners were all "vegetarians" (notice the quotes). The idea was not to do a vegetarian or even a vegan menu but it had the purpose of feeding animal flesh to these so-called veggies to show them what they have been missing all this time. As I predicted at the start, the result was a resounding success for the lumpy-faced bell end and his gittish celebrity arse clowns. And oh how those vegetarian folk saw the error of their ways and voted resoundingly for the wonderful dishes so lovingly prepared for them. It was a win, win,win, win for everyone concerned! Hoorah!
One "Vegetarian" upon eating veal and being asked if he enjoyed it replied "Would it be wrong of me to say it was lovely?" Ho ho. You twat. You complete scab.
Just so you understand my position on this, I got to thinking about shooting a pilot show of my own based on the same format.
No, hear me out on this....
We start with a really passionate presenter - I'm thinking of someone with real television presence and showmanship, someone like Gary Glitter or maybe Johnathon King - and we get a couple of groups of people, one group say ordinary people (politicians, priests etc.) and the other lot a load of grinning celebrities, but nobody cabable of critical thinking who'd spoil it all. We take them to our purpose built studio done out like a giant extravagant knocking shop and invite them on a very special 'fucking-buffet' to sample the many and varied delights of the flesh.
Here's the Menu:
- Appetizer: Stillborn Baby gently warmed and basted in KY jelly.
- Starter: Thai sex slave - an oral delight!
- Main: Ladyboy Sandwich with sluttish dressing.
- Dessert: Two-Toddler Topless hand relief.
"When was the last time you had a kiddie fiddle, sir?"
"Oh it was years ago, when I was a kiddie, but now I really do see what I've been missing all these years. I'm such a stupid moron to have denied myself all this time. I really blew both barrels when I got that sloppy yawn from that 10 year old. Thank you for making me feel normal and accepted by the masses again ~ Excellent work!".
Everyone would vote in favour of the evening's excellent success and they'd all smile and laugh in front of the camera while some continued to fuck on into the credits to the tune of Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy".
Hey, whadda ya think eh kids? Are we missing a point here somewhere?
Stu Smith.
P.S. Gordon Ramsay, you're a fucking scatmuncher.
Labels: gordon ramsay, scatmuncher, vegan, vegetarian
posted by Captain Graviton at
14:21
2 Comments:
Couldn't agree more- you've taken words right out of my mouth. I can't stand that heartless Ramsey guy! Never watch the show as just seeing the previews/ads for it gives me nightmares. Just seems as if he kills every poor creature he gets his hands on.
Would love for him to get slaughtered - afterall no harm done- it's painless and ethical, isn't it!
Hey Taylor, wow, you're proof that there is someone out there that actually reads my twaddle! Thanks!
I suppose it's not just Gordon Ramsay that winds me up, it's the whole fucking retardation of human 'civil' society that does. When we make programs that masturbate our sense of superiority and high-culture I want to expel the contents of my spleen all over the culprits. Ramsay is really only one Fucktard-Figurehead at the bow of a fleet of Cunt-Cruisers.
Personally, I'd love to see a Vegan chef on the telly with the balls to educate the audience and twat a few of those bell-ended chefs that think they're it.
If only I was a good cook.
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