'Proof' Of BimBam The Space Clown?

Dearest Reader,

Well I'm sorry to thrash this out, but just as an addition to yesterday's rant about Doreen's Watchtower magazine, I did begin reading it (a promise is a promise) and now I believe in God! Nah, do I fuck, I'm just messing with you there. Sorry about that. No, I just wanted to make comments on the first few pages which is as far as I can stomach.

"Does God Really Care About Us?" is the question on the cover and already I object to the presupposition that there is a God in the first place that would care or not care about us. It then goes on to state "If so, why does he permit suffering? Will it ever end?" again, it's a cop out to assume that there is a God allowing or creating, caring or uncaring about the natural shittyness that is inherent in life. If we can PLEASE get over this issue first then, yeah, let's discuss what the great bearded one is fucking about at with all these wars and shite!

As if to answer my query, page four asks "How Can We Know There Is A God?" smear me in spit and lick me dry! It's as if I wrote that question isn't it? (I didn't in case you thought I was serious). Ready for this? Yes, it's the old, tired, argument from design again. It goes like this...

"See that watch? Fucking complicated isn't it? It can't have just assembled itself can it? It must have had a creator? Man! (sorry women watchmakers out there) See the Universe? Now that is fucking amazing isn't it? (Yes, we all agree there) Aha! Well someone really, really, really, fucking clever must have created it! (if the bit about the watch is true) So there! We got you! You have to believe in God now you twat!"

Er, well kids, where shall we start? Let's get the obvious one out of the way first. Let's say that we assume that nothing complicated can just be created by accident or chance, or that nothing that is can simply be unless someone or something consciously created it with intent. Read that last sentence again, we'll be coming back to it - maybe there'll be a test? Let's play along for a while then and ask the obvious next question which is; If this is so, who or what created God? What's that? That 'logic' that you used is not good logic any more? God is the originator? Nothing came before him? He is the prime mover? You sound like you're full of shit to me. Here's the rules, now the rules don't suit me, I shall now change the rules? Please, religious people, fuck off with this argument now, it's getting old, move on, try again with something better eh?

Back to the issue of everything that is complicated has to have been created. Well, let's not cloud the issue here with unnecessary verbiage, everything is complicated when you look closely enough, so let's just say 'everything' in the first place and not be unfair to the bland objects out there like rocks and religious people.

Speaking of rocks, what 'created' a rock when we see, for example, a volcano spew it's lava into the sea? The Volcano created that rock, that plateau, that landmass, those islands. Is it intelligent? Did it create them with intent? Should I be worshipping Volcano Gods? Maybe I should be slitting a virgin's neck to the Great And Holy Puddle Gods? What? It doesn't work like that?

Aah, ok, I see, the Volcano is just a tool! God creates the tool, and the tool creates the stuff. There's a chain, ok, I see. So, just like man creates some cogs and a tiny little spanner, he can make a watch. The cogs and spanner are just tools like the Volcano? Ah, well in that case then forget all that scathing stuff I wrote above, I'm obviously a fuckwitted spatula for not getting that part! But wait, no, hang on a sec, see this finger? It's pointing to a man, a little old fella with half-round glasses on and he's actually holding the cogs and spanner and, yes, wait a second, I'm pretty certain he's a fucking watchmaker? Let me do a test first before I call you a cunt? Yes, he is definitely there, definitely able to make watches. Where's your God with his foot on the Volcono pump? There's not one. You're a cunt. Yes, very fucking droll and stupid, but you lot fucking started it.

Lastly, and I'm sorry to be finicky again, but it is a pretty important issue to be clear on if I'm expected to spend the rest of my life worshipping this creator of yours, but exactly which God actually did all this creating? Just to be sure, how do you know it wasn't Zeus or Appolo again? How would you test that that it wasn't BimBam The Space Clown? I've heard he's done this sort of thing before? Shall I throw in a honourary mention to the Flying Spaghetti Monster too?

So, so far, poor start. You obviously see the importance of 'proving' your God and as I've just explained, you've not actually done it with any satisfaction yet. I know this doesn't actually matter to you people because you have a magical off switch for your brains that you can just flick when the going gets tough in the rationality stakes. I actually fear that when I continue to read this Watchtower magazine beyond these first few pages you will have felt that you've done enough 'proving' and go on (like they all do) to blah-de-blahing about the Bible and all the crap in that and still hold onto this God existing assumption that I won't swallow until you do actually do a proper job.

I think you lot come across more honestly when you just come out and state that proving God is pointless and you shouldn't be fucking doing it anyway because it's all about switching off that side of your brain that might question the fucking ridiculous and just start believing it because lot's of people do and 'lots of people' is more than just 'you' so just shut the fuck up and tow the line. I really think you'll get lots of followers like that?

Hmm, I must tell BimBam this next time we slay a virgin together.